Everyone I’ve talked to and mentioned “kidney stones” has had one of two responses. “Oh no! I’ve had them and it was awful” or “I’ve never had them, but I’ve heard it’s worse than giving birth”.
I had the pain for weeks, so I’ve had time to really consider how to describe it—-yet in a way you can say it in public and be family-friendly.
This is my description of kidney stone pain:
It started like a muscle tweak in my lower back, but it quickly ramped up to the feeling of a broom handle being pressed into my flank by someone who really doesn’t like me.
Quick side note—-did you know that the nerves in the kidneys are shared with the groin? Well it is and you need to know that for the next part.
So imagine a 2 year sitting on your lap and accidentally kicking you…there. It gets your attention and the 2 year old quickly learns to kick faster. Soon after, the broomstick pain in my side turned into the feeling of John Rambo shoving his hunting knife into my side after holding it in the fire for a few minutes. Mr. Rambo jammed that to the hilt and then moved it randomly and frequently as if to say, “If you move, I’m going to wriggle it a little more”.
Now as that was happening, the 2 year old kicking turned into the lead singer of Midnight Oil complete with steel-toed boots. If you do not know who Midnight Oil is, take a moment and read about them. The lead singer, Peter Garrett, is continuously winding up and landing the steel-toed boot every time your heat beats
So that’s the general feeling. John Rambo in my rear flank and Peter Garrett and his boots getting to know me in a very personal way.
Here’s the funny part……that’s the opening act. Up next is the part no one talks about.
