Colon Prep

It is time for a colonscopy. Most importantly, it’s time to prepare for it.

Let’s just go back a bit first. I had an annual check up with my primary physician. He looked at my chart and said, ”You know what time it is, right?” I bowed my head and said quietly, ”Yes. Yes I do. “ I took the prescription for the colon prep, which I am, from this point forward, calling ”disaster juice”.

I walk into my regular pharmacy, hand them the prescription. The pharmacist looks at it and looks at me and smirks just a little and says, “Congratulations”. In a few moments I was on my way out the door with my jug of powder that screams to those who have done it before, ”Here comes a bad day”. A nice older person stops me and says,”That stuff is disgusting. Good luck.” The die is cast.

Since I found out it was time for a coloscopy, I have received so much advice. ”Just chug it”, ”Just get it super cold”, ”Drink it through a straw. that will help.”

Let me tell you that there is no secret to doing this besides willing yourself to do it.

The taste of the product I had was like drinking salt water…..not just regular salt water, but water from the briniest depths of the Dead Sea.

I put in two Crystal Light Lemonade packets meant for an entire pitcher. That took the edge off of it. All in all it wasn’t terrible at first. But what they don’t tell you is that you will be needing to deal with the output of this effort sooner than you think, which slows down the consumption, unless you bring your sippy cup of disaster juice with you to the commode.

The directions I received was 8 ounces every 10 minutes. The rate of output was similar in velocity. Quite honestly, this is what caught me off-guard. I didn’t think that I would need to RUN to a facility…..and I did, but also, running is the LAST thing you should do. Maybe you own a carpet cleaning business, then you are fine, but us mere mortals will have a different fate. Without being too detailed, I will offer this advice. Put a charging cable for your phone in the bathroom within arm’s reach and don’t be a hero.

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About Me

Soul Brother Number One, the Godfather of Soul, the Hardest Working Man in Show Business, Mr. Dynamite, Mr. Please Please Please himself………Red Sneaker

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