Subscribe via RSSStarting at the Beginning
Monday, September 11, 2006 |
New beginnings can start with the bang of a starting pistol or the quiet ticking of a clock rolling over to a new day. Each of these new beginnings has some significance, no matter how small. This is my first column, so I want it to start with the big bam boom of a marching band (any Sousa march will do), perhaps some fireworks (pending a safe fire index) and a “Yahooey” or three. The fact is that it will be a fairly quiet affair, much like when I got my first job at the silence factory or Katie Holmes giving birth.
Welcoming a new baby into the world is a great new beginning. My wife and I have three beautiful children all in various stages of cleanliness depending on the percentage of mud to grass ratio in our backyard. The biggest impact was really the third child. Most folks would think that the first child is the most difficult, but in my opinion, once the kids out number the parents, the balance shifts. The small country that is our family turned from a democracy to a puppet dictatorship. This is due to the fact that:
A) We, the parents must maintain veto power at all times to ensure the mortgage money isn’t squandered on several tons of green Jell-o due to a 3 to 2 vote.
B) I like puppets.
I like to think of our little family/country as “Matthewslovakia”. We could have our own mascot--the dirty sock, and our own national anthem-- ”Are we there yet?” Maybe even see if the kids want to learn how to luge so we could possibly get into the next winter Olympics?
I’m afraid I’ve veered way off track. Back to the topic at hand…new beginnings.
This year will mark the first time two of our children will be in school full days. From my vantage point, I am proud that we managed to keep them alive this long. After the infamous “Grilled Cheese incident of 2001”, it was touch and go, but that is another column for another time.
Since my wife, Jennifer is a “stay-at-home” mom, I would have thought this new beginning would be one to make her grin from ear to ear and perhaps utter a “Yahooey” or two. To my surprise, she is not filled with the mirth and merriment I had anticipated. I am just having a difficult time understanding this feeling, or lack thereof. The last time a child started full days, we decided to have another baby. If that conversation happens again, I think it might go something like this:
Jennifer: “I never thought I would say this again, but what do you think about having another baby?”
Me: “A human baby? Can we just get puppy? You can even make it wear diapers if you want.”
Jennifer: “I am just having a hard time with the older two kids in school all day.”
Me: “Modern medicine has some wonderful drugs …..”
Sometimes new beginnings are the start of other new beginnings. Sort of a domino effect.
When I started college, I was the atypical student with atypical clothes and a mini fridge to keep my soda cold. By the end of my 5-6 years of matriculation, I had bright blue hair down to the middle of my back, enough tattoos to make both Harley and Davidson proud, and a mini fridge to keep my soda cold. That was quite some domino effect over those few years and once you dye your hair blue, there’s no turning back……or so I thought.
As you can maybe tell from the photo at the top of this column, I’m more “Alex P. Keaton” than “Punky Brewster” now, which is good thing since I never really needed breast reduction surgery. I’m a straight-laced kinda guy--a new beginning, if you will. One that has proved as challenging as it has amusing. This inaugural column now marks the newest of my new beginnings. Let the games begin. Yahooey!
