Subscribe via RSSDo as I intend, not as I say.
Monday, November 06, 2006 |
I once took a class where the instructor said that 85% of all business problems can be traced back to an error in communication. Maybe he said 80%, I wasn’t really listening that day. Anyway, the point is that communication is so vital to just about everything we do. When you go through a drive thru and only use hand gestures, you can’t complain when you walk away with 5 packets of ketchup and a warm orange soda. You weren’t communicating effectively.
Growing up, I asked my mom if there was anything I could help with while she was cleaning. She said I could do the dishes. I washed and dried all the dishes by hand. When I finished, I found my mom and I declared proudly, “Done”. She looked in and said, “You didn’t wipe down the counters, cabinets or the stove.”
Whuh? She said “Do the dishes” not “Do the dishes and wipe off the counter, cabinets and stove”, or did I miss something. OK, so I did the job. I returned back to my mom and ask if there is anything else I could assist on. She asked me to start a load of laundry for her. OK. So I started the laundry. Just as I thought I was done, I remembered the “You’re not done” statement. There is other work implied now. So I wiped off the washer and dryer and the laundry table. While I was in the middle of this, my mom popped in and inquired, ”What are you doing?” “I’m wiping down the related surfaces….isn’t that right?” According to the look she gave me, it was not. This was now a very intriguing pattern. One that I wasn’t sure if I could decode easily, so I persisted.
I get my next task—fix my bed. I’m now in unchartered waters. Unsure what exactly it is I am suppose to do. So I fix my bed, complete with hospital corners and sheets taut enough to bounce a coin, and then wash down the kitchen counters, cabinets and stove.
Nope. That wasn’t right either.
I was then asked to sweep the floors so I watered the lawn and deloused the cat.
Boy was that wrong. I don’t remember seeing my mom’s face turn that color before.
It was a cross between the goldenrod of our shag carpeting and the rust color of the kitchen linoleum
What it all boils down to is specificity (yes that’s actually a word). If the requests were more specific, I wouldn’t have swept the chimney after being asked to wash the windows (our house didn’t have a chimney, so it was harder than it sounds).
I also have found that I am very guilty of omitting items when I make requests to my family.
The other evening, it was time for our girls to go to bed. Keep in mind that they are 3 and 6 years old and have been going to bed for a sizable chunk of that time. This was nothing new. I ask them to “Get ready for bed”, to which the 6 year old replies, “I’m ready.” She is noticeably still in her normal clothes, so I know she isn’t entirely ready. “How about pajamas?” I reply. “Oh, I’ll go change”. She wasn’t lying. She probably was totally ready in her mind to drift into slumber, but her clothing situation was not.
So now I employ specificity.
“Sabrina, have you prepared for bedtime by brushing your teeth, taking your day clothes off, placing them into the hamper and putting your pajamas on?”
Sure I usually lose her attention by the time I mention “Day clothes” but to be honest I’m just covering all my bases. Now when she says she’s ready for bed and isn’t in her pajamas, I know it isn’t because I wasn’t clear about the tasks at hand, but it’s because she was thinking about Sponge Bob or Fruit roll-ups.
That I can live with.
